Dating 101: How to lock up a second date!
Anthony Russo
You lock it up, no YOU LOCK IT UP!
For Ladies
The first date is going swimmingly and but he hasn't talked about a second date yet... What to do?
When you feel yourself "thinking too much" (i.e. worrying), get up and go to the bathroom to clear your thoughts. Guys will sense your level of stress and your good date will turn to an awkward one in two seconds flat. Men cannot stand awkwardness, since it makes them less confident -- men are very touchy when it feels as though we are doing something wrong.
Now that your head is clear, what next? Guys want girls that know how to listen. And by "listening" we mean "knowing how to flirt quietly". Girls that know how to look into a guys eyes and flirt using their eyes are far more successful at getting what they want. A girl that can look into my eyes can cause my throat to close up. (Guys like butterflies too.)
So the date is over and he still hasn't asked. The worst thing you can do is ask "So when are you going to take me out again?" -- sometimes there is nothing you can do, and all that pressure just makes it worse on him. Instead, on your way out, simply say, "Well that was fun!" or "I can't wait to do this again!"... then let him decide what to say. Don't linger, and make it seem like you are playing hard to get -- say it once, then let nature take its course. Have faith. As a girl, you always have the upper hand, even when you don't realize it.
For the Guys
Gentlemen: girls are a fickle bunch. Girls will know within one minute of meeting you if they are going to want to see you again. If you make it past the first minute, then it's yours to lose. The only problem is, a girl wont let you know if you passed the first test -- they're either too nice to tell you or they are making sure they still get a free date/meal.
Now assuming she is still interested, it's time to be relaxed and outgoing. Be talkative, but avoid normal pitfalls. Talk about what you do, but never brag. You can say you're successful, but say it's because you work hard. Avoid specifics on how much you make. If they ask, find a way not to answer.
There is nothing women hate more than liars, and sometimes our stories are crazy enough that (to a woman) they may seem like lies. Save the crazy stories for the second (or even third) date. Just give "previews" of your life and be open to listening to everything she wants to talk about. Let her be more open than you -- girls dig a little mystery.
Try and make the lady as comfortable as possible, be yourself, talk about surface topics, and don't get too deep. Listen to her. If you can pick up on the little nuances of her personality and take a stab at something in her past, go for it. Good intuition is proof enough to be considered attractive. After the date, close the sale on the second date. Don't directly ask, just use something along the lines of, "So where am I taking you the next time we go out?" This confirms that your next date is not a matter of "if", it's a matter of when and where.
For Both
Don't forget the power of the text message! No more "four day rule" on phone calls -- text messages break this barrier. Text the night of your date, just a simple "that was a lot of fun," and get the ball rolling. This could start up a dialog that leads to another night out. Life is short... date hard!
Of course, if that certain someone hasn't presented themselves, you can always try out a dating website. It's 2007, using one of these websites is longer a faux pas in the dating world. In many ways, they are more successful than all other forms of dating. My suggestion is definitely lavalife.com -- they have stepped up to the plate and provided a good site for internet dating.
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